The last concept that I’m going to talk about for the purpose of this blog is part of the chapter 11 in the book, which talks about committed romantic relationships. I found the idea that there are different styles of loving very interesting. I learned that people differ in how they experience and express love. In fact, there are three primary styles of loving: Eros, Storge, and Ludus (p.280). There are also three secondary styles of loving but I’m not going to discuss them. While Eros is a powerful and passionate style of love, Storge is basically based on friendship and compatibility. The other one, the Ludus, is playful love, while lovers see love as a game.
This means that not everyone see ``real love`` in the same manner. Some believe in love at first sights, and others think it grows gradually out of being friend and doing things together. Everyone’s style could fit into one of the six styles of loving, depending on some social factors such as how they see love, sex, friendship, etc. Just as the picture I choose: the heart is formed with different elements. People often look for people with the same love style as themselves for a relationship. Some of my class partners in my Interpersonal Communications course asked us different questions to discover in which category each of us was fitting into. According to the survey, my style of loving is Storge. To be honest, I really think it represents me!Actually, I don’t really remember falling in love with my boyfriend. My love for him just grew gradually and I had more and more the feeling that we belonged to each other. He was one of my friends and I have developed a little something for him as we were doing things together. I feel really comfortable in my couple. It has been easy with him from the start! Personally, I don’t believe that love at first sight is possible. I think it may be just physical attractiveness. ``True love`` grows out of slowly developing attachments that lead to lasting commitment.
Here is an article called ``The Experience of «Being In Love» Is Not The Same For Everyone``, in which you could read more about the six styles of loving that I'm talking about, including the secondary styles! It's well summarized!
Yes, just like you I'm also a ''Storge'' style of loving. And just like you, I don't really believe in love at firts sight. My first impressions of people appeared to be wrong most of the time, as I learn to know people. But I believe that sometimes, just looking into the eyes of some people, you can really see if you will get along with this person. You can feel a pretty strong connexion only through eye contact.
RépondreSupprimerYou're right! Eye contact is habitually a pretty good indicator of compatibility. I do have wrong first impressions of people too! Most of the time, I really learn to appreciate people I encounter as I know them more by talking and as I do things with them. And it's not only true for romantic relationship, but also with friendship!
RépondreSupprimer